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5(ish)-JAN-2025 | The Hans Brinker Budget Hotel’s “Improve Your Immune System” Ad

Author

Dan Bogachek
January 06, 2025

The Hans Brinker Budget Hotel’s “Improve Your Immune System” Ad

A reminder to not take yourself so seriously. Done right, you gift your reader a moment of escape through humor, and at no one’s expense.

IMPROVE YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM.

Attention Clean Freaks! You are making the world too clean. Your immune system is in danger. We need contact with dirt to build up natural resistance to harmful bacteria. For this reason, the Hans Brinker Budget Hotel is proud to be dirty and carry a wide variety of bacteria. Just one night’s stay will give your immune system the boost it needs to remain effective. Visit before it’s too late. 🏁

  • Hook: command your reader. “IMPROVE YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM.”

  • Get specific and label your reader’s identity — even if it’s assumed. “Attention Clean Freaks!” Plus — if a label is intriguing and specific enough, even if you’re not a clean freak — your interest is piqued regardless.

  • All written in “you,” except for the choice “we”. Which is perfect, because it adds a bit of: “we’re doing this for all of our sakes, it’s the common good, really!”

  • Subversion of expectations: “we’re dirty on purpose.” Half of comedy is surprise.

  • Punchline → double down + command your reader. “Visit before it’s too late.” The faux urgency is melodramatic on purpose, it’s self-aware 😉

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and flip open the laptop.

Or… what if:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 9:27 — final draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

Copygloss handled it. Before you left for the date, actually.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].