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19-JUL-2024 | Lion Matches’ Vintage Long Copy Ad

Author

Dan Bogachek
July 19, 2024

Lion Matches’ Vintage Long Copy Ad

I light cigarettes, cigars, pipes, candles, lamps, stoves, fridges, geysers, Christmas puddings and distress flares and I cost three hundredths of a cent.

It’s easy to see I’m not in it for the money.

I’ll light anything that burns. I’m particularly good with cigarettes, cigars and pipes, because my clean, clear flame is ‘taste-free'.

So all you taste is the tobacco. Not me.

I’m long on versatility too.

With my 42mm length, I can easily get a light to those hard-to-reach parts of stoves, lamps, fires, geysers and so on.

OK, so maybe I’m not modest.

But my price — at 1 ½c for around 50 — definitely is.

After all, what else can you get for three-hundredths of a cent?

“We look pretty plain but we make beautiful arithmetic.”

  • Written mostly in “I.” The object having a voice creates an interesting perspective. It’s a little endearing, even.

  • Quotation marks nowadays carry a different flavor from what they used to, so the ones here might seem odd. The quotes around ‘taste-free’ aren’t there to call question the lack of taste into question — but rather to emphasize. Quotes were frequently used for hooks and catchphrases, to coin terms, and to draw attention.

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and crack open the laptop.

Or… it could go like this:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 10:27 — polished draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

You had Copygloss handle it yesterday afternoon.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].