On paper, this would seem like a dream come true for any young man. Being stuck in the wilderness with an all-female tribe of gorgeous women. That’s on paper. But this is real life. Checkmate. At least the beatings have stopped. They look dainty but they’re so strong. They let me wander sometimes but I know they’re watching me. I just want this to be over. If only I could find my way back to the car. I know it sounds pathetic but they nearly broke me last week. I was bathing by the waterfall when I saw the jet stream of an aircraft. I jumped up and down like a madman, hollering at the top of my lungs. As if they could hear me. But one of the tribeswomen did. Checkmate. They all took turns whipping me. I have a new strategy now. I’m trying to win them over. Get them to like me. I sweep all the huts, mend the blankets and do the washing without being asked to. And tonight for the feast, I’m making a killer recipe I once saw on TV. That should show them who the alpha-male is. Checkmate.