Excerpts from Nike’s “Forget What Tennis Used To Be” Ad

• Hook: command your reader, while raising a question. “Ok sure, but where is this going?…”

• Longer sentences for illustration, punchy sentences for punctuation. Complete ideas > complete sentences.

• Identity: “tennis shoe for players who want to change with it.”

• “Something most tennis players can’t get enough of…” Note how the negative gets labeled with “they” instead of “you.” Your reader will make the connection to themselves (which they will weight more heavily since it’s their own idea) and you do without offending them. Win-win.

• The presumptive imaginative close: “means you’ll probably be shaking a few people up out there.” It’s getting you to imagine the end impact the shoes will have.

• Momentum conservation words to start sentences off: “And,” “of course,” “which” etc…

• And of course: written in “you.”

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and flip open the laptop.

Or… what if:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 9:27 — final draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

Copygloss handled it. Before you left for the date, actually.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].