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  • 3-FEB-2025 | Excerpt from “The Black Obelisk” by Erich Maria Remarque

3-FEB-2025 | Excerpt from “The Black Obelisk” by Erich Maria Remarque

Author

Dan Bogachek
February 03, 2025

Excerpt from “The Black Obelisk” by Erich Maria Remarque

He is a corpulent little man with a bristling mustache and dusty trousers, secured at the bottom with bicycle clips. His eyes sweep Georg and me with mild contempt. To him we are office hacks who loaf all day, while he is the man of action in charge of foreign affairs. He is indefatigable. Every day in the gray of dawn he goes to the railroad station and then by bicycle to the remotest villages: wherever our agents, the gravediggers and teachers, have reported a corpse. He is by no means inept. His corpulence inspires confidence; therefore he maintains it by diligent beer drinking early and late. 🏁

World-building and character exposition from one of the greats.

Remarque doesn’t spell out that the little man dislikes Georg and the narrator. Instead he describes what the character does: “His eyes sweep Georg and me with mild contempt.” Showing instead of telling.

Then we see the opposite: telling, then illustrating for embellishment and imagination. “He is indefatigable” is immediately followed with how he is that way, how the man’s behavior supports that label.

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and flip open the laptop.

Or… what if:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 9:27 — final draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

Copygloss handled it. Before you left for the date, actually.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].