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  • 31(ish)-OCT-2024 | Excerpt from "The Big Trip Up Yonder" by Kurt Vonnegut

31(ish)-OCT-2024 | Excerpt from "The Big Trip Up Yonder" by Kurt Vonnegut

Author

Dan Bogachek
November 01, 2024

Excerpt from "The Big Trip Up Yonder" by Kurt Vonnegut

Gramps Ford, his chin resting on his hands, his hands on the crook of his cane, was staring irascibly at the five–foot television screen that dominated the room. On the screen, a news commentator was summarizing the day's happenings. Every thirty seconds or so, Gramps would jab the floor with his cane–tip and shout, "Hell, we did that a hundred years ago!"

Emerald and Lou, coming in from the balcony, where they had been seeking that 2185 A.D. rarity — privacy — were obliged to take seats in the back row, behind Lou's father and mother, brother and sister–in–law, son and daughter–in–law, grandson and wife, granddaughter and husband, great–grandson and wife, nephew and wife, grandnephew and wife, great–grandniece and husband, great–grandnephew and wife — and, of course, Gramps, who was in front of everybody. 🏁 All save Gramps, who was somewhat withered and bent, seemed, by pre–anti–gerasone standards, to be about the same age — somewhere in their late twenties or early thirties. Gramps looked older because he had already reached 70 when anti–gerasone was invented. He had not aged in the 102 years since.

Masterful in media res.

In just a few strokes, we get a character entrance, their attitude, the environment, and what’s happening in the scene — all to set us up for the next “pan shot” of the entire family.

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and crack open the laptop.

Or… it could go like this:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 10:27 — polished draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

You had Copygloss handle it yesterday afternoon.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].