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  • 31-DEC-2024 | Excerpt from “Sorry for the Lobsters” by Neil French

31-DEC-2024 | Excerpt from “Sorry for the Lobsters” by Neil French

Author

Dan Bogachek
December 31, 2024

Excerpt from “Sorry for the Lobsters” by Neil French

Happy New Year!!

Being a writer is rather like having diarrhoea; you’d really like to stop but you just can’t. My problem was always getting started. The fact is, I’m no good at all at headlines. In the end, I realized that if I just got on with the writing, a headline might magically appear, (and in fact, sometimes it did). I had the same problem with the title of this book. In a way I suppose the title of a book is its headline. Let’s try the old trick: First of all put in the things you know it’s got to have, like the name of the author. I’m almost sure that’s me. Neil French. There you go, that’s done. 🏁

You can really picture French in this passage. In my mind, he’s sitting hunched forward on a stool, elbows on knees, gesticulating with a lit cigar.

The frankness and hint of vulnerability draw you in. “Look, — surprise! — I don’t know what I’m doing either. So here goes.”

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and flip open the laptop.

Or… what if:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 9:27 — final draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

Copygloss handled it. Before you left for the date, actually.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].