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31-AUG-2024 | Excerpt from Sarah Turner’s website

Author

Dan Bogachek
August 31, 2024

Excerpt from Sarah Turner’s website

Sarah Turner is a copywriter and entrepreneur.
Let’s look at some of her home page copy.

Does this sound like you?

You want a fulfilling, meaningful career.

You’re sick of building someone else’s dream.

You crave the freedom to work from anywhere and earn more.

—

Today’s world is overflowing with opportunities! It’s time to stop settling for less. Together, we’re going to push back on the mindset hurdles keeping you stuck.

When you dismantle self-limiting beliefs, you start to achieve things that at one point seemed impossible. You discover for yourself that you can have it all. Satisfying work. Financial security. Time for family and friends. You get to decide what success means for you.

You don’t need a PhD, loads of time, energy, or creativity. The dreams you have are within your reach…

Are you willing to learn something new?

Ready to join our insanely supportive entrepreneurial community?

Then let’s do this!

Structure

1 — twist the knife. 2 — description of what’s possible, with vivid imagery. 3 — work on and remove objections. 4 — call to action.

You-focus

Notice how many of the sentences include the word “you.” Out of 18 sentences total, “you” is in 11 of them. It’s all about the reader.

We-focus

Then,

The strategic use of ‘we’: “Together, we’re going to…” and “Then let’s do this!”

For actions, we > you and we > me.

It’s a bit of the case where 1 + 1 = 3 — because ‘we’ is collaborative. Maybe it’s not quite 3, but that’s not really the important part. Point is, it’s greater than 2.

The knife twisting is “you” focused, but the ‘how’ and call to action use “we” to help motivate and simultaneously add some gentle social pressure.

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and crack open the laptop.

Or… it could go like this:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 10:27 — polished draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

You had Copygloss handle it yesterday afternoon.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].