Excerpt from Kiwi’s “Weight of a nation” Ad

Meta alert — writing about a speech, written in the style of a speech.

Note the use of repetition. Repetition, which when bridged across sentences, adds emphasis or contrast.

See what I did there?

“Edward Everett preceded Lincoln with a two-hour lecture. But when Lincoln spoke, he took less than two minutes.”

“…the message hit home. His message…”

Also, “two” is used five times in this one paragraph. Extra memorable.

Another nice touch:
“He spoke a mere 272 words.”

How interesting… that also happens to be the shortest sentence… 😉

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and flip open the laptop.

Or… what if:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 9:27 — final draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

Copygloss handled it. Before you left for the date, actually.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].