• Copywork365
  • Posts
  • 5-OCT-2024 | Excerpt from Kiwi’s “They’d never stop talking” Ad

5-OCT-2024 | Excerpt from Kiwi’s “They’d never stop talking” Ad

Author

Dan Bogachek
October 05, 2024

Excerpt from Kiwi’s “They’d never stop talking” Ad

If these shoes could talk, they’d never stop talking.

These aren’t just any ordinary shoes. These are Muhammad Ali’s boxing shoes. These are the greatest shoes in the history of the world. The greatest shoes of all time. These shoes are original. They’re one of a kind. The world has never seen shoes like these before. And never will again. These are the shoes that are too slick for those tricks. These are the shoes of a man who can predict what round he’ll knock you down, and then do it. 🏁

Fast and easy sentences, one after the other, feel like eating M&M’s: “well, what’s one more?”

You get a quick hit after each one. It’s difficult to stop.

Remember: the goal of each sentence should be to make you read the next sentence.

And of course: repetition legitimizes, repetition legitimizes, repetition legitimizes.

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and crack open the laptop.

Or… it could go like this:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 10:27 — polished draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

You had Copygloss handle it yesterday afternoon.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].