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7-FEB-2025 | Excerpt from J. Peterman’s “Berlin. Somewhere in the '30s” Ad

Author

Dan Bogachek
February 07, 2025

Excerpt from J. Peterman’s “Berlin. Somewhere in the ‘30s” Ad

Berlin. Somewhere in the ‘30s.

The champagne sparkle of the ‘20s was gone now; vodka and suspicion replaced it.

The little comforts vanished. Money was worthless.

Luxuries were unobtainable. Well, almost. You had to pay a price. You had to be willing.

October, just after four in the afternoon. A beautiful pale woman sits alone at a café; orders a meal she can’t afford. The signal does not come.

A waiter hovers; she orders coffee. He shrugs, goes inside.

Finally, the signal comes. Without eating, without paying, without the valise of military documents she came in with, she leaves.

She pretends not to see the British agent coming, pretends not to notice his cologne. He bumps into her shoulder, hard. The only thing she feels is the envelope, thick with money, in her hand.

An hour later she emerges from a shop wearing a jacket she’d stared at in the window forever, the one she’d nearly spent the rent money on. 🏁

  • Complete ideas > complete sentences.

  • Even in this story, you’re brought into the fold with “you.” Now you see yourself in the main character’s shoes — coincidentally when we’re focused on the pain.

  • Couplets of repetition for emphasis.

  • The big picture: a story about fantasy and desire. We love stories. Our heroine goes through incredible risk and sacrifice, and in exchange she gains the financial freedom to get herself whatever she likes. And the one thing she chooses? The dress.

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and flip open the laptop.

Or… what if:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 9:27 — final draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

Copygloss handled it. Before you left for the date, actually.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].