• Copywork365
  • Posts
  • 7-JAN-2025 | Excerpt from “Death (A User-Friendly Guide)” Ad for the Lien Foundation

7-JAN-2025 | Excerpt from “Death (A User-Friendly Guide)” Ad for the Lien Foundation

Author

Dan Bogachek
January 07, 2025

Excerpt from “Death (A User-Friendly Guide)” Ad for the Lien Foundation

Written by Eugene Cheong & David Fowle.

Death. A user-friendly guide.

Why are we afraid of the dark? Why do snakes and spiders frighten us? If we were to trace all our fears down to their very root, we would inevitably come face to face with the Spectre of Death. To be no longer numbered amongst the living haunts us like no other demon. The knowledge that one day we will all cease to be has turned some of us into philosophers and others into priests. Mostly though, death has made cowards of us all. We pop vitamins, eat fibre, run three times a week: all the while looking warily over our shoulder to be sure that death’s long shadow isn’t gaining on us. 🏁

  • Hook: shock, then intrigue. The d-word is one of the spiciest words to our lizard brains.

  • Rhetorical questions are your friend. They tee up the point you were going to make anyway, with suspense as a bonus. “How will they answer this question?”

  • Note the “we” throughout? Intentional. Don’t use “you” for negative judgement. If it’s negative or upsetting, use “we” instead. It puts you in the same boat as your reader. Makes all the difference between casting judgement and commiseration.

  • This is a longer ad, but still — look just how long we spend in pain territory. Twist the knife, then twist it some more for good measure.

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and flip open the laptop.

Or… what if:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 9:27 — final draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

Copygloss handled it. Before you left for the date, actually.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].