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22-SEP-2024 | Excerpt from Beck’s “Eternal optimist” Ad

Author

Dan Bogachek
September 22, 2024

Excerpt from Beck’s “Eternal optimist” Ad

How to survive six hours trapped in a lift with an eternal optimist.

Hell could be like this: Given the choice of demons inserting red hot pokers into one’s more squidgy bits for eternity, or an afternoon in close proximity with a die-hard optimist, and most people will opt for the kindness of demons.

Everyone knows that life isn’t fair. And since ‘life’ encompasses just about everything that happens on the planet, it doesn’t leave much room for optimism does it?

Unless you include a whole lot of really contented rocks.

But no. The eternal optimist will tell you that even at the Heart of Darkness there glows a light so bright that God can’t pay the electricity bill; that all people are basically good; and that, yes, there are crabs that can walk in a straight line, and sweet-talk a policeman when they’re pulled-over for drunk-driving. 🏁 

A hairy dog philosophy joke geared to sell beer.

The variation in sentence length. The last paragraph in particular! “But no” is the first sentence, and the rest of the paragraph is all in that second sentence.

The colorful language and absurdist imagery really shines here. Feels like a Carlin bit — you can really hear the voice.

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and crack open the laptop.

Or… it could go like this:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 10:27 — polished draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

You had Copygloss handle it yesterday afternoon.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].