Starbucks, Costa, Caffé Nero: you’re not going to like this.

Apologies to all our barista friends on the high street, but there’s a wonderful, natural stimulant available that never gets the recognition it deserves. Sleep, glorious sleep. (Actually, we’re not on the high street, we’re online only: why are we apologising?) Yes, a few hours on our new-generation memory foam mattress does wonders for a person’s energy.

We’re eve, the ones who make that mattress: make it to order within three days. Go online, tap in the word NOBRAINER for £50 off, and it’ll be with you before you can say ‘I’ll have a double-shot venti mochadoozie with extra whatever the hell it is they put in there.’