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  • 18-JUN-2024 | British Heart Foundation Bus Stop Ad

18-JUN-2024 | British Heart Foundation Bus Stop Ad

Author

Dan Bogachek
June 18, 2024

British Heart Foundation Bus Stop Ad

You’re only reading this poster to pass the time before the bus arrives.

It doesn’t really matter what it says, anything will do. Just something to fill the next few minutes as you stand there waiting, wondering how long before you’re back at home. That is, if you even make it home. Because heart disease can kill when you least expect it. Like now. Out here, in the cold. Before the journey starts. Before the bus pulls in. Before there’s even time to reach the end of this poster. But while you’re reading this, research is happening. And with research there is hope. Join the fight at bhf.org.uk and help us fight for every heartbeat. Wait, that bus still isn’t here yet?

Grade 2 on the Hemingway app.

The hook gets us curious how? Labeling our behavior. “Wait a minute…” we think to ourselves.

Then we’re hit with the subversion: “That is, if you even make it home.” Yikes, that’s oddly threatening. We’re at attention.

Repetition on “before.”

Which gives us a pushing off point for the call to action — you can help. “Join the fight at bhf.org.uk and help us fight for every heartbeat.”

Very direct.

Don’t be shy. Tell your reader exactly what you want them to do. They’re (most likely) grown up and can decide for themselves whether to listen or not.

Then a bit of levity again, to reference the hook and wrap up.

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and crack open the laptop.

Or… it could go like this:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 10:27 — polished draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

You had Copygloss handle it yesterday afternoon.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].