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8-NOV-2024 | Avis’ “Working like a dog” Ad

Author

Dan Bogachek
November 08, 2024

Avis’ “Working like a dog” Ad

Are you working like a dog to get to the top?
Shake hands with Avis.

When you’re not top dog, you try harder. You work more hours. You worry more. You eat much too fast.

You go through the same thing Avis is going through. We’re only No. 2 in rent a cars. We have to knock ourselves out to please people.

By not giving them anything less than fine cars like lively super-torque Fords. By worrying that one of our people might forget to empty an ashtray. Or clean a windshield. Or fill a gas tank. We try harder. But you’ll never know how hard we try until you try us.

Walk up to our counter.

And give us some growing pains to keep our stomach pains company. 🏁

  • Big heaping spoonful of “you” with repetition, repetition, repetition. And the whole time, it’s making you engage your memory for what? Pain.

  • Don’t be afraid to tell your reader what to do. Remember, they opt in to keep reading.

  • As a rule of thumb, avoid gerunds (-ing). However, here it stretches time/effort in Avis’ favor.

  • Nice intra-sentence symmetry: "…how hard we try until you try us” and “…growing pains to keep our stomach pains company.”

  • Keep it simple, keep it toight. Grade 0 on the Hemingway App. Average sentence length in this ad is eight words. The modes? 4 and 5 words.

You glance at your watch.

It’s 6:28. You’ve been at it since 3.
Crap. Your hot date is at 7. Running late. Sink shower it is.
Nowhere close to done editing…

“…at least all the ideas are laid out, so there’s that. Did I miss anything? I don’t think so? Ok, but how do I make it flow? I need to get the final draft to Stacey for design asap, team cutoff is at noon Thursday…”

You’ve spent dinner completely distracted. Your date just took off. You go home exhausted, plod to your desk, and crack open the laptop.

Or… it could go like this:

5:41 — you’re out of the shower and lip-syncing.
6:17 — dressed to the nines and zenned out.
7:03 — the sunset glints off your aviators as you smile hello.
8:36 — it actually feels like you’re hitting it off. Not just hot, funny to boot.
Next morning, 10:27 — polished draft ready in your inbox.
10:31 — Stacey messages back, “thanks, looks good!”

The difference?

You had Copygloss handle it yesterday afternoon.

For help with editing, email Dan:
[email protected].